your first review had higher ratings, but sadly, this site does not like the f bombs, even if they are present in the game throughout the entire game. I find it funny and more amusing how you took the game and twisted it and adding the puppy part, but sadly if you wanted to post the accurate review, there are sites that you can possibly drop the f bomb and many other bombs and not get ridiculed the very least. still an interesting review, I have encountered this game and wasn't impressed with it enough to play much farther than the first few "chapters" of the game. this complies with the faq and policy now ;)
Shadows of the Damned game Review
Story & Playability
I actually posted this review a month or two back but had to pull it on account of people not liking naughty words and complaining about it. God forbid an 'M' rated game gets an 'M' rated review. I decided not to censor it since that's pretty insulting if you ask me. After sitting on it for a while, I decided I'd put it out and just have fun with it. Same review only difference is the 'f' bomb has been replaced by the word puppy. Nope, not going to use symbols and turn it into f#*!ing, instead... puppies. If you're one of those that can't stomach bad words but can stomach it in video game format, please point yourself out so I can reserve your padded room.
Ever heard the name Suda51? Yes? I'm going to guess you are a pretty hardcore gamer then. For those of you that don't know who it is, he is pretty much the impossible love child of Stanley Kubrick and Lady Gaga* and just happens to make video games instead of cinema or music. Sometimes his work borders on the brilliant but is always guaranteed to be weird as all hell. He's the type of game creator that goes somewhere into a part of his brain that we average mortals cannot and pulls out the most outrageous concepts and usually turns them into pure fun in a disc form. In this review we will visit his newest creation along with powerhouse team Shinji Mikami and composer Akira Yamaoka in Shadows of the Damned.
*Reviewer's Note: I am absolutely obsessed with Lady Gaga and meant this as a compliment. If you had your pitchforks ready, put them back.
Shadows of the Damned follows Garcia Puppying Hotspur (he refers to himself that way and 'puppying' is capitalized so it is a proper noun in this instance) and his quest to slay all the demons of the underworld. Garcia is renowned throughout Hell as the ultimate demon slayer, so much so that the lord of the underworld, Fleming, has decided to take it upon himself to see that Garcia's life is destroyed. He goes about this by kidnapping his girl and dragging her down to the underworld to kill her repeatedly as well as ravage her body in any way he wishes.
The story really is reminiscent of Super Mario Brothers in it's simplicity. Bad guy kidnaps a man's princess and he goes to rescue her. It's just that we get a lot of blood, a smattering of dick jokes the likes we haven't seen since Bulletstorm, a trip through another imagining of Hell and one badass MexiCAN (he is certainly not a MexiCAN'T!).
Shadows of the Damned certainly isn't going to win any awards for story telling or amazing dialog, yet it works for what it is. If you are never entertained by sexual innuendo or juvenile humor then you will undoubtedly hate nearly every line of dialog this game has to offer. If you can get a chuckle out of the name of your gun being called the Boner and then upgrading to Hot Boner, then you might get some enjoyment out of it. Sometimes it can get a bit overdone but there is actually a lot of funny dialog between Garcia and his companion Johnson (another dick reference anyone?). How anyone grades this section all depends on how immature their humor is or how well they can shut their brain off for a while.
Rating:
Graphics
There is really only one positive this game has to offer in the graphics department: character design. Garcia and Paula's characters are pretty finely crafted and give a very accurate portrayal of their personalities. Garcia is a gunslinging Mexican much akin to the one's you'd see in Grindhouse cinema. His skin is covered with tattoos and skulls, guns and all manner of other things you would associate with a man who seems to drink testosterone like Gatorade. He has the very battle worn face replete with scars all the while managing to have the smooth Latin hair that could pick up any woman he wanted. Paula is the typical blonde bombshell that gamers would love to show off to their friends (or their giant pillow with some loli on it). She's got the seductive yet innocent look that manages to have a modern attractiveness and classic beauty in one package. I'm not crushing over her, far from it, just giving you guys an accurate description. Oh... you get to see her naked a few times too.
You just whipped out your credit card to buy this game didn't you?
Remember how I mentioned there was only one positive? Yea, that means there's a lot of negatives.
Despite the overall solid character designs, there was a serious problem with animating facial expressions and mouth movements with dialog. There are actually instances where a character will talk and the mouth will not move at all or or will just have a very slight quivering motion. It's pretty hard to actually immerse yourself in a funny line of dialog or the big, dramatic scene when there are these glaring graphical issues staring you in the face. Aside of that, the entire vision of Hell falls a bit short. I honestly believe that the entire concept of Hell is one that is just too great for anyone to properly portray. This was also a problem Dante's Inferno had. I'm sure Suda51 was going for just something he called Hell and not the one associated with Christianity but it just didn't feel as bleak, brooding or overwhelming as a place for damned souls should be. Mix in with that a very limited enemies selection, poor draw distance and textures and it just feels like it didn't fully realize it's potential.
Rating:
Sound
There is very little dialog in the game, most of it being shared between Garcia and his companion Johnson (who doubles as his gun and torch). They mostly go on about the relationship of Garcia and Paula and try to explain some of the features of this Hell while you go about exploring the world. It's actually nice to have this active dialog going on in game and not relying entirely on cutscenes for it. The majority of their talking does involve sex jokes though. Garcia calling Fleming "a real dick-tator" or Johnson talking about a strip club where he used to "skull XXX girls in their XXX sockets". It's easy to dismiss this as just juvenile humor intended to only appeal to overgrown man children, but it is actually kind of funny sometimes. I'd actually call them the video game version of Beavis and Butthead somtimes. There's just something funny about this manly Mexican guy going from saying "I will carve my name into your flesh and that name is Garcia Puppying Hotspur" and then only moments later holding a giant gun and saying "taste my big boner".
Sadly the music qualifies as forgettable at best. Aside of maybe the ending credits music having any kind of personality, the rest was just boring. I almost feel bad having this section be as small as it is but I genuinely have nothing to say about the music since none of it really stuck in my head. I played this game through 3 times in about a week to get all the trophies and I still can't remember any of it.
Rating:
Fun
If you've played Gears of War you've pretty much played Shadows of the Damned. The main difference is that you aren't dealing with any cover mechanics and strategy is never necessary. It has that same feel in it's controls and you still have the whole "stomp the enemy into the ground" thing going on but this is more just run and gun and never look back. It's a game that's never difficult, even on it's hardest setting and never seems to get you too excited with over-the-top action or tense situations. You might mess up here and there but you'll never be stuck anywhere too long. While there is some variety thrown in with a few stages acting like a horizontal rail shooter, the vast majority of the game will be run into an area, shoot the enemies that predictably pop up and maybe run room to room to avoid the darkness.
Shadows of the Damned is fun but it lacks anything that truly makes it stand out in it's genre. I personally hold a lot of love for the over-the-shoulder 3rd person shooter. I've enjoyed the Resident Evil games since they went in that direction, was blown away by the Uncharted games and love Dead Space. There's something more fun about having a shooter that can often involve puzzle solving, acrobatics and escapes by the skin of your teeth that makes it so much better than FPS. Shadows the Damned taps into that love but not enough for it to be something I can highly recommend in that genre with such good games inhabiting it. It has that Suda51 taste but falls short of the fun to be had in a game like Killer7 (still my personal favorite of his).
If you like frat boy style humor or if you want a fairly easy game to get 1000 Gamerscore or a platinum trophy in, pick this game up. Otherwise, it might be a rental or something you buy from the bargain bin when the next Summer gaming drought comes. I'm sure the rest of you have plenty else to play right now anyway.
Rating:
Final Verdict
5.1667 (moderate)
Reviewed by shoujoboy, Dec 10, 2011
Comments
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angelxxuan Banned Member Dec 10, 2011
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SnickerdoodleNinja Retired Moderator Dec 10, 2011
Quote:
God forbid an 'M' rated game gets an 'M' rated review. I decided not to censor it since that's pretty insulting if you ask me.I think the concern was more that it seemed as though you could have still let people know what they were getting into without getting that close to f bombs. It's important for people to know what they're getting into with a game like this, but there are still ways to get around that and keep it within the bounds of MT rules, such as the puppy substitions. Also, isn't part of reviewing trying to help people figure out whether or not they want to play the game? Some people might be curious about an M rated game that they know nothing about but be turned off by the language of the game, which you can describe without having to use those words in the review and still help them make a decision about the game. (Sorry if the last part makes no sense; at the moment I'm having trouble putting my thoughts on that into exact words.) In any case, its perfectly possible-as you've now proved- to be able to write a helpful review for an M rated game without your review being M rated.
EDIT: While I still am not an advocate of the f word in reviews that could get the point across otherwise and prefer the puppy version, I do think that given the fact that you were being honest about what was in the game it wasn't the same as casually throwing the word around. Plus, you did give a warning that that was the case, so readers also need to be able to take responsibility for reading something they find offensive even when they knew it was coming.
Other than that, your review is a load of fun to read while still being rather informative, descriptive, and to the point. You've got a ton of voice and a great sense of humor for your reviews, and you did a nice job of keeping the score rather objective. I think I'll pass on this game, but I hope to see another review from you soon!
Power to the puppies. And Lady Gaga.
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CyanideBlizzard Retired Moderator Dec 10, 2011
Truthfully speaking, I have no problem with the use of such words in the context that they were used.
Generally when it comes to any forum of written media, you want to remain as accurate as possible. I wish a compromise could of been made, and I wanted one to be, but I'm sure you know how it goes sometimes.
As for the review, boy am I glad that I avoided picking up this title. What a shame too, because with such an all-star line-up, one would expect the game to be absolutely stellar instead of the lackluster combination of talent it ended up turning into.
Perhaps that's something that I'll have to work towards seeing about changing in the policy for the future. Thanks for re-submitting and having fun with it, Shoujoboy!
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